This topic of letting go didn’t used to be a happy place for me. The truth is that I had a hard time letting things go. People included. When I make meaningful connections with people, I want to keep cultivating them. I love these people, so I want that to continue.
Does that sound familiar to you too?
But something happens in certain relationships. Over time, or for no reason at all, the people you love, who say they love you, stop reaching back. They don’t call you back. They don’t make plans with you when you suggest them. They don’t even call when big things happen to you in your life.
Lately, I have had to really take inventory of my relationships. There are some people who I love, who I have considered close friends, who just aren’t there for me anymore. When we see each other every four to six months, it’s nice, but I leave thinking: why has it taken this long? Why isn’t this person being a more consistent friend in my life?
For the last month, I have really decided to let go of these relationships. If the people surprise me and start coming around more, great. My heart is open.
But I’m going to stop settling for crumbs.
I’m going to let them go and open myself up to more relationships like the ones I want: fun, fulfilling, consistent, supportive.
So this week, happiness is letting go.
I realized that if I am going to be my best friend, I need to start acting like one. A best friend wouldn’t let you continue this way. She’d say, “these people haven’t been acting like your friends. Not the kind you want or need, honestly.” And she’s right.
In letting go of the attachment to them and the energy of trying to hold them, I create more space for the right people to come into my life and fulfill me NOW.
Who are you holding onto? Is it time to let go and be happy?
I marvel at how often we stay “stuck” with people. We know it’s not working. We leave them or don’t hear back from them, and all we feel is frustration, sometimes even resentment. Why don’t we let go sooner?
I’m glad I can now say that happiness is letting go.
I can’t wait to see who’s going to show up now. What about you?
Image courtesy of lkunl / FreeDigitalPhotos.net
Ava
So very true. Going through this with some very close family members and it is very difficult but necessary.
I agree, and have noticed over the years that some friends are like waves. They come into my life slowly, a few meetings and hang outs before crashing upon me and engulfing me in a fun splashy friendship for a while then receding, again slowly…fewer meetings and phone calls as “life happens” and the friendship fades.
I am always happy to see these friends again, but I know that our friendship will never be at the level it was at one time, and I’m okay with that.
It leaves room for new splashy fun friendships.
I have always been a “few friends” type of person. I don’t have dozens of friends, I have a few friends who I share everything with, then I have acquaintances.
Some people think it’s rude of me to call them acquaintances. That’s what they are…friendly acquaintances, yes, but I don’t share many details of my life with them. We don’t meet often, they’ve never been to my house…that’s not a friend.
Letting go periodically is a good thing. It’s healthy, and it leaves room for new quality friends.
This post resonated with me, Ava.
In the past year, I let go’ of someone who’d been a friend since we were teenagers – yet not a friend I could count on at life’s darkest times when I truly needed her. Yes, letting go of that friendship hurt but it would have hurt me more to let the withering of what I’d thought was a friendship continue.
By letting go, I’ve cleared a space for a promising new friendship to flourish, one that fits who I am now. And, like you, I’m also excited thinking about who else might show up too.