This week I had to run an errand to a shop I frequent locally. I hadn’t been in a while, so it’s always nice to see the owner. Usually I’m in and out in about fifteen minutes, but I was guided to ask about her husband, whom she hadn’t said anything about. She ended up telling me his cancer was back severely and that he couldn’t work. He was at home right now, barely able to get out of bed. Things aren’t looking very positive, and no surprise, she’s worried about him. About her family. About being a new small business owner on one income. About her kids.
We ended up talking another thirty minutes. She cried, and I held her. And for that moment, there was healing. She felt lighter and was smiling when I left. Really smiling. Something she hadn’t been doing a lot of.
What normally had been a regular visit turned into a moment of grace. And that’s what I want to talk about today.
There is happiness in a moment of grace just like this one. What the secret? I looked at her and asked about how her life really was. Not the whole shallow exchange we experience so often in our interactions. “How are you doing?” we ask people we come into contact with all the time. The expected response, “fine,” just comes out, and we continue on our merry way none the wiser.
The truth is that there are a lot of people who aren’t fine. People who have husbands with Stage 4 cancer or spouses out of work. People who are desperately trying to get pregnant, and so far haven’t. People who have gotten divorced and are afraid to go out on that first date again like Meredith Hale in NORA ROBERTS LAND.
How often do we really look beyond the pat answer of “fine” and really give a person permission to truly tell us what’s really going on in their life?
I was raised to say “grace” before a meal, and to me grace is gratitude, but it’s also that special support we receive from something beyond ourselves to do something extraordinary. My blessing came with this woman. I don’t know her well, but in that moment, it didn’t matter. She needed someone to express her hurts and fears to–like we all do–and I gave her permission to do that. Haven’t we all been hurt and afraid?
So as we go about this upcoming holiday season of gratitude and giving, I’m going to go deeper. I’m going to be more open to these moments of grace, knowing it helps others and also makes me feel happy that for a moment I connected with someone in their deepest self and they felt heard, seen, understood. And were able to smile easier because of it.
What about you? Are you ready to invite in more moments of grace?
Ava
Leave a Reply