Happy People

So, the more time I spend focusing on being happy, another truth is emerging. Who we hang around makes a big difference. I was raised to be pretty inclusive and even try and help make other people happy. Joke around, you know? But here’s what I’ve realized. People who aren’t happy typically don’t change just because someone tries to help. We are all in charge of our own happiness. And people who we can’t laugh with or be happy with drag us down. Remember the Happy Thoughts blog last week? Well, it’s simple. When we’re with other people, we talk, right? Talk is the verbalization of our thoughts. If we’re not with happy people, chances are happy thoughts are not coming out of their mouths. Instead it might be a continued rant of negativity about their life, judgment about other people, or simply an unintentional reaction to our own happiness. We can’t express happy thoughts with people unwilling to engage in the exchange. So we find ourselves talking about other things–not the Happiness Corner.

I’m not suggesting people have to be happy all the time, but there needs to be a commitment in trying to be. Or more, we know they’ll be happy with us and put their own negativity aside. We all have bad days and need to talk about it. I’m not saying we need to be fake. But as I have taken inventory in my life from time to time, I ask myself: does this person make me laugh? Do I feel happy around them? Oh, and here’s the kicker. Can I be happy around them and know they will support me? It’s sad how sometimes people can’t support our happiness because it magnifies a big hole in their own life.

I’ve thought for a long time happy people had found the secret to life. Happy people seemed to hang around other happy people. I decided I needed to learn more since I wanted to be happy too. I observed. I wrote about characters seeking happiness. I even studied the various guides out there on happiness. When it all comes down to it, it’s a practice. And as I step more into living my dreams, I want more people in my life who will support my happiness. Not tell me all the reasons what I’m doing is a risk or crazy or . . . Insert your own experience here. We’ve all had the naysayers. I’m simply choosing not to hang with them anymore.

I want Happy People. People who want to pop a bottle of champagne for fun on a Tuesday to celebrate life. People who’ll laugh with me until my belly hurts. People who will help me laugh when I’ve had a tough day. My sister and I did this for each other today. We ended up recounting our favorite Mel Brooks’ movie scenes and laughing at the silliness. We all have what works for us in the challenging moments.

So take a look at your circle and don’t be afraid to ask yourself: who’s happy and who’s the downer? When we let go, it’s only opening up room in our life for more happy people to come in.

photo credit:oxfordian.world via photopin cc