Inspiration

When I worked at the old day job, I had the privilege of working under one of finest men around. He was the vice president of our division, and I was his deputy. We worked together with great complimentarity for almost six years. Our team was like family, and I learned so much from simply observing him, being around him, being able to ask him questions, or have him review a short draft when I needed a second look or flat out wasn’t sure of the answer.

Being a small business owner now, essentially my own publisher, has presented a challenge I hadn’t expected. Who would mentor me when I didn’t know what to do or suggest a possible course correction they knew was needed due to their greater experience? I’ve been able to find lots of mentors in my writing life—the incredible Mary Blayney changed my life, and Diane Gaston taught me so much about how to write a synopsis. But being a publisher? Well…

That’s been another story. Books and Internet research just arent’t enough. But you know me. I am all about calling in the right people, places, ideas, events, and opportunities for my highest good. And on the wings of an eagle came a mentor this week in the form of the lovely author, Christine Nolfi. She’s her own publisher too and has a lot more experience than I do. I’ve spent the last month really digging into where I am nearly nine months after I published NORA ROBERTS LAND. If there’s one thing I know how to do, it’s strategize. But you also need the tools and the information, so I posed a question to the other wonderful Indie writers in an online community, and guess who showed up as a mentor in that moment? You’ve got it. Christine Nolfi.

Happiness is mentors!

We all need mentors in our lives. I truly believe in every moment we are both student and teacher to each other, sometimes it might just be one more than the other depending on the role we’re playing. There’s this enormous social allusion about adults having to know all the answers, right? After all, many of us are raising kids, making big financial decisions about our future, and even running important projects at work. But the truth is that we don’t always have the answers, and we need help.

Hence, mentoring. Take a moment to think back on all of the people who helped you along the way, and all the ones in your life right now. You might even want to say thank you; I know I am sending this blog post to my old boss just to say it again. And thank you, Christine Nolfi, for being one of the most amazing mentors to me as a publishing executive. And know I will pay it forward when it’s my time. That’s the secret of true mentoring.

Lots of blessings, everyone!

 

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Being spontaneous seems to be a facet of ourselves we don’t use as often as when we’re a kid jumping in that puddle because it seems fun, having no thought of how wet our shoes will get or how upset our mom may be.

But being spontaneous is one of the keys to happiness.

Even though I was finishing up a new book, this past week, I decided last minute to throw a party to celebrate St. Patrick’s Day. My family is Irish, from a small town that boasts to be the Irish capitol of the state, so we always celebrate it up. I wanted to do something fun with other authors like throw a Facebook party and talk about our favorite Irish actors and holiday memories. And it was a blast.

But the other thing I decided to do was to put NORA ROBERTS LAND, my first book, on sale to celebrate the holiday. Just for one day.

The luck of the Irish was with me because I couldn’t have imagined the abundance that poured forth. The book started selling like Irish hot cakes, and there I landed on the charts on Amazon next to JD Robb and Debbie Macomber. Holy moly!

You see, just like that little kid jumping in puddles (which I used to do all the time by the way), I knew that having a party and celebrating St. Patrick’s Day was going to make me happy. And I wanted to share that happiness by reducing my book to less than a dollar. Imagine that! Working on a book for over a year and then selling it for less than a dollar. Sometimes commercialism is incredible when you think of it like that.

But I was happy to share my joy, really, and look what happened. It spread. It was contagious.

All because I decided to be spontaneous, follow my guidance, and do something special and fun.

What is your “puddle?” The area in your life that you know will make you happy if you just jump into it? And what stops you? Is it all that head chatter about the work involved or the consequences?

Take a minute this week. Maybe stick your toe in the puddle or throw a rock in it to create a splash. Whatever it is, discover the happiness from being spontaneous. You won’t regret it!

 

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Have you ever felt like you were that Greek god pushing the boulder up the hill over and over again? Just when you think you’ve reached flat ground, you hit another incline. It’s a constant state of having to earn whatever it is you are doing. And I don’t just mean working hard. I mean the part of our lives where we feel like we have to work hard to “earn” something good, something lasting, something sustaining.

This week I had another reminder of the incredible happiness that comes from not having to earn anything. Just having that magical moment arrive when you receive spontaneous, surprising abundance right out of the blue. I was informed this week that my debut novel, NORA ROBERTS LAND, and my second book, FRENCH ROAST, were both nominated for the Reward of Novel Excellence awards. That’s two books nominated in two separate categories. We are talking serious happy dance.

And do you know what?

I didn’t even know this review committee knew about me. I had no idea they had my first two books. I was like, heck ya! 

Now, granted I had worked my butt off on these books, especially the second one, which has been the hardest to write. So in some ways I earned it. But not really. This news just arrived, and it couldn’t have made me happier.

How often are we pushing to make something happen only to have it never arrive? Moments like this teach me about grace. That beautiful word is all about receiving something you didn’t earn. I love grace! Join with me this very minute and call more into your life.

Who wants to “earn” everything? Not me. That’s exhausting.

So, take a minute right now and think about all the areas in your life where you are trying to earn something. I’m doing it as we speak. Isn’t the list a bit longer than you…ah…might have expected? We’re earning in our jobs, our relationships…even with ourselves. Have you ever gifted yourself with food after doing something tough? Earning.

Let’s all agree to take a few items on our list and stop the earning. Allow the grace to come in. Rest in the knowledge we are supported by forces we can’t see and that things are happening even if we can’t see the buds bursting through the ground yet.

Let’s all agree to give happiness some room starting right now.

 

 

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Happiness is Online Love Connections

Well, happy Valentine’s Day to all my Happiness Corner friends. It seems fitting to be talking about online love connections today.

And before you go there, I am not talking about “those” love connections although I’m quite happy if that’s how people meet the one they’re celebrating this holiday with.

I’m talking about other online connections, the ones in which there’s a kindness and a caring, dare I say it?, the most human sense of connection: love. What the Greeks called agape love. The love that comes in community and is of the spirit.

Until last May when I left my old career, I wasn’t on any social media platforms for security reasons. I certainly wasn’t on Facebook or Twitter, but I am now. I headed off into these vast online communities with some hesitation. Did I really want to be “out” there? And if I went out there, what awaited me? I’m the kind of person who likes to have intimate dinner parties, quiet one-on-one lunches, coffee with friends, and long phone conversations. Those venues suit my need for meaningful connection, what I call community or agape love.

When I first came online, I really didn’t know the mechanics of posting and such. I’d have to call my siblings and ask them how to do this and do that. Soon, I had the particulars down. Then I struggled with what to say. I wasn’t raised to really put myself out there, so this whole, talking about myself and posting pictures about me and my life was well…disconcerting. And what in the world would be the reception?

For a while, I wasn’t sure what to make of it all. This whole numbers game of how many FB friends, Page Likes, and Twitter followers seemed to detract from the true meaning of connection to me. Numbers have never mattered in my friendships. It’s always about quality. And yet, here I was, surrounded in this new place where I started to feel the pressure of the numbers…and then had to ask an even bigger question: was there any true meaning to any of it? Was I really creating a community? A place of love, happiness, and inspiration like I want in all of my communities?

Then a dear writer friend, Katy Regnery, told me something about Facebook. She said it was like having a conversation on the front porch whereas Twitter was like a raucous party. Perhaps you’ve heard these comparisons before, but I hadn’t, and I am forever grateful to Katy for sharing them with me.

With that new intention, I started to see Facebook as that front porch conversation with friends. I started to engage even more on that level, hoping to inspire, hoping to spread light, and be a positive influence.

And my online “love” connections started to build.

Then this week, a reader who has been a regular on my Facebook page commented about how much my books have changed her life. She has a long-time disease and feels very isolated, but she’s connecting with me and is so glad to have found me. She’s even able to read again.

Her message brought tears to my eyes. And it made me so very happy.

There have been other moments online, but what I wanted to share today is that there is a possibility to find that happy corner on social media, a place where we do feel more connected with each other, where we become more than our user name and our Facebook profile.

We are connected, and it took my writer friend’s comment (someone I met on Twitter ironically), to help me see how I could be connected in a meaningful way, how I could view Facebook and Twitter as a valuable and uplifting community space.

So, thank you, Katy, and thanks to the lovely reader and many others who have reached out using this online way of connection.

And on this Valentine’s Day, let’s call in more loving online connections in the coming year where we remember that just because we sit in a room on a computer doesn’t mean we are not in the presence of true friends.

 

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There is probably a direct correlation between me talking and writing about receiving recently and what happened this week. Remember Happiness is Receiving?

Well, I talked about learning to allow others to help and support me. Something as simple as letting a man take my luggage down some stairs to the woman at the market taking my groceries out to my car. Of course, there’s my neighbor, who shoveled my snow lately.

Receiving more.

Not giving less. Just being more in balance with the whole big G, big R thing.

This week an unexpected gift showed up out of the blue. One I hadn’t even thought about. I’d made a tough decision not to attend a really special weekend event that I have enjoyed for many years as a way of being mindful of where I was allocating my financial resources. Well, this friend said she knew someone who wanted to pay for me to go. I knew instantly it was her. It brought tears to my eyes. This is not a small gift, not that any gift ever is. It’s sizable.  She wanted me to be able to go and wanted to support that. 

So I remembered what I’d been saying about receiving, took a breath, and said, “Okay, I will receive that.” And then I cried and gushed gratitude to her for this incredible, unexpected gift. Wished that she reaped this blessing a million times over.

Now my friend is a total gem, and I’ve known it for a long time. But in a million years, I would never have thought about her giving me this unexpected gift. Things like that don’t happen to me. Sound familiar? I had even made peace with not going to this event this year. 

But…

I’d put it out into the Universe about being willing to receive more.

And here we go. 

This gift. Dropped right in my lap.

So, take heart, all you reading this. You never know when you might receive an unexpected gift like this. Is there something you’ve been wanting that just seems out of reach? Something you can’t afford? Something you never think will come?

Take a second right now to close your eyes and say, I am willing to receive this. 

You might be surprised like me. It just might show up from the most unexpected source, in the most unexpected way.

What could make any of us happier?

 

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This week has been epic folks. I read at my first Reader’s Event with some incredible authors.

And I became a bestselling author.

NORA ROBERTS LAND took the #1 spot on my beloved B&N, #10 on iTunes, and #24 on Amazon. Holy freaking frijoles.

Yes, folks. Following my bliss has manifested into achievement, and it’s also made me so happy/joyful that my heart simply burst from it all. I don’t know how much I laughed and screamed and threw my arms up in total joy these last days. It was incredible!

A friend told me last night how happy she is to see me so happy. She knows I quit my old career with faith and trust that writing was what I was meant to be doing. That I left behind the stable, the certain (the regular paycheck and benefits) to make my living as a writer. She’s just so inspired, she told me. 

And do you know why?

Because when we see someone else follow their passion and throw caution to the wind and it actually PAYS off, it gives us faith that the dream inside our hearts (one buried or one known) actually might work for us if we follow our guidance and take the first step.

If you think I have not had days of doubt, you’d be wrong. But I’ve always believed in my message. Always believed the Divine was going to bring the right readers to read my books. And look where we are. 

My heart is filled with gratitude. For you and for me. I did it, and you found me. It’s all manifesting in perfect order.

So, now what about you? Are you in the job you really want? Are you doing what makes your heart sing? Are you doing something you’re proud of? Come on, take the leap. I’ll be here to cheer you on. Because when one of us succeeds, we show others that it’s possible.

It’s possible for you. I just know it! So go on. Leap already!

 

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Do you ever work toward something in your life, and it just doesn’t achieve the heights you’d hoped? But you stay at it, knowing it’s what you need to do? Maybe it’s a relationship, or maybe it’s a new business you’ve started.

Patience is a virtue, they say, and really WHO said that?

Don’t we want abundance right now? It’s easy to get caught up in the season of instant gratification. I know I do it, and most of the people in my life do it as well. What’s so bad about wanting something to turn out big the first time?

Nothing.

But it doesn’t always work that way, does it?

Take me, for example. Quitting my old career to launch into this new one as a writer was scary. Yes, it was what I was meant to do, but it also required a leap of faith and had a heck of a learning curve. And then there’s the work. Do you think putting out four books in four months was a piece of cake? I used to work in war zones that were as challenging.

But this week, something magical happened. I’d followed my guidance and hired an assistant to help place me on various readers’ blogs. We all need connections, and this person has been a godsend to me. She asked a while back if I wanted to be a part of a holiday hop, and I said, sure. I was happy to donate a few books as a giveaway. I didn’t have all the details, and on Sunday, my Facebook page started getting Likes. And I don’t mean a few. I mean a lot.

Within three days, I had doubled the number of likes on my page. Why is this important? Because it means more readers have a chance to discover me and my books. What’s funny is that I didn’t even realize it was connected to this holiday hop I was on until I saw the post saying the way to enter the book giveways was to like author FB pages. 

Wow!

Now that’s what I call surprise abundance.

But it also was a whole lot of hard work paying off finally. I was able to connect with new readers and enlarge my platform. Get my message out to more people, because it all comes down to the message for me.

I couldn’t have been more delighted. So even though I knew not to fall into the trap of thinking FB likes meant people “liked” who I really was, I decided to simply enjoy it for what it was. New connections. New readers. New fun. And all that hard work paying off on social media.

What about you? Is your hard work finally paying off, making you happy? Or are you still working hard to get there? 

Take a moment like I did this week. You might be surprised at how far you’ve come, and that’s something not just to be grateful for, but happy about.

 

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Does anyone miss playing like a little kid? I know I watch the little ones run around with their toys or simply picking up a stick and using it like a sword, and I miss that kind of play. So it was pretty wonderful to have a friend agree to get together recently and call it a playdate. A what date? I was like, oh, I totally love that. 

Happiness is playdates. Who knew?

Being an adult can be fun, but all of my “dates” involve dinner, drinks, coffee, tea, lunch, or movies. Does this sound familiar? There’s not a lot of playing. 

But today, when my friend and I met, we headed to the woods. I don’t know that we played so much as allowed our imaginations to roam. We noticed sap that looked like amber coming from a dark knot in a tree. We took a moment to be in awe of the yellow leaves still clinging to a species of tree, making the copse look as if dotted with a thousand little suns. We picked up rocks and branches that were cool. And we talked. Simple companionship. Watched the crows cry out in the pines. Followed the red tail of a cardinal into the brush.

Our imaginations were open and alive. And for me, that’s definitely a form of play. I even climbed up a tree partway to grab a piece of amber sap for my friend. I miss climbing trees, one of my favorite childhood past times.

I wondered, when have we gotten so serious? When did we forget how to play? Kids bring it out in us, but not too many adults it seems. So I’m calling in more playdates. More fun afternoons spent with a friend, letting our imaginations take over and our spirits soar. 

Sometimes you don’t need a playground. You only need good company and an invigorating landscape like the woods.

What about you? Anyone else up to a playdate? It might just make you happy.

Perhaps it’s the hustle and bustle of the approaching holidays or the fact that life has seemed complicated lately, but I was finally reminded of a wonderful truth: happiness is simplicity.

Without all the clutter in our minds, in our lives, in our houses, there’s a simplicity that makes us happy. It’s easier to tend to less. It’s easier to nurture ourselves without all the extra in the way.

So today, I’m going to keep it simple and say what has made me happy recently. The simple things.

Watching the near full moon rise on this cold autumn night over the tree above as I write this.

Brushing down a black horse called Midnight today and just letting her nuzzle me.

Sitting with my new manuscript in a cafe and falling in love with the characters again.

Having a little boy tell me to tell his mommy to come find him.

Hearing the leaves rustle as I walked in the woods.

Laying on the grass in the sun on this warm autumn day. 

 

What about you? Where’s the simplicity in your life? I’ll bet if you get right down to it, it makes you pretty happy too.

 

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Well, it’s good to be blogging on The Happiness Corner again after being unable to last week. I caught a bad fall cold and was down for the count. And that’s what I want to talk about today. Support. Support that makes us happy.

I was guided to call a friend of mine to see if she had a homeopathic remedy for a cold. I have my own, but reached out to her. She actually had two for me. One involved some paste with essential oils in it. She offered to make me some and bring it by. I was deeply touched by this because she’s busy like the rest of us. Plus, I was sick. 

She met me at the door, her three kids in the mini-van out front. And I found that bubble of happiness peek through even the worst of the cold. Here she was, supporting me. When I wasn’t at my best. When it wasn’t the happy-g0-lucky me. When I needed her.

Reaching out to others is hard for some of us. I had to laugh, but even as I downloaded the photo for this blog (the heart), the code I had to enter was “Go It Alone.” Why do we feel so compelled to do that? And why do we judge people sometimes for breaking that code? 

One of my favorite moments in FRENCH ROAST  was when Jill Hale got up to help Peggy McBride make dinner for her son. She had this moment of disorientation, so used to doing it all by herself as a single mom. Then she remembered to say thank you. 

Sometimes that’s all we need to do.

Independence can be a good thing. We do need to be able to do some things on our own, and it’s a valuable piece of our evolution. But we’re also interconnected. People are all around us, having their moments in life, catching colds, whatever. I had to tell myself there was nothing wrong with reaching out.

And do you know what? I realized it again: being supported makes me happy. I like knowing I have people I can depend on. And having my friend show up like she did with this paste, her three kids yelling in the car, well it was its own remedy. 

So, let’s all try and remember that it’s okay to ask for help. To receive other people’s support. We don’t have to go it alone. We can choose our moments of connection. 

With that kind of happiness available, we’re all better off reaching out when we need it.

 

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