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Recently I wrote about going after your dreams once again when you didn’t achieve them the first or second time. Well, I made another go at mine this past weekend, and I have to tell you: I didn’t reach them.

Sure, there were other wonderful moments. New people encountered. Signs that I am on the right path. Encouragement to keep going. And I will…

But.

It’s time to surrender.

I’m learning, albeit slowly, how to keep moving forward while surrendering the situation. It sometimes seems like I’m living in a cloud as I attempt to keep my feet on the ground I know while my head is filled with this imagined reality.

So, it hasn’t happened yet. I don’t know how it’s going to happen. I just know it will.

The burning in our hearts for our dreams is a sign we are on the right track. Perhaps the puzzle pieces haven’t lined up. Heck, some of the puzzle pieces may not have arrived yet. But it’s coming together.

Right now though it’s about surrendering it once again. Being willing to hand the pieces I have in my fist that don’t fit right now to something bigger, someone bigger than my human self.

Have you ever felt the same?

Surrendering is a tough term for me. It used to mean a powerless state. Now I see it as the place I come to when I have to trust there’s something more guiding me, which I believe. I can’t do it all myself, even though I sometimes forget that. I have to surrender to something more to bring my dreams about.

How do you feel about surrender? What does it look like for you? Is there something you need to surrender, even for a time? Join me. Let’s see what happens.

Right now it’s the only happiness I see.

 

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Sometimes it’s easy to forget the building blocks of happiness. I had a wake-up call this week as I was reading Michael Singer’s book, The Untethered Soul. He talked about complaining.

Ugh. Complaining.

I realized I’d slipped back into some more passive forms of complaining. It’s so busy right now. I have so much on my plate. Can’t seem to fit it all in. I’m tired.

Fill in your own blank.

Talk about taking away the energy of happiness. I love what I do, but when I feel busy, I’m draining that joy away, leeching it with the worry of stress.

And there’s stuff in my personal life too I’ve been assigning a less than beautiful blue ribbon.

So, I decided to stop complaining—really watch how I talked inside my head (super important too) as well as to others. For thirty days.

Happiness is Taking The Thirty Day Challenge.

Why thirty days? Who not sixty? Why not a lifetime? Well, when we’re doing something like this, we need to start small. And thirty days is the time it takes the brain to (re)learn something and set a habit.

Here’s an example. When I had to take the car into the mechanic yesterday unexpectedly, I didn’t complain. I stopped the blah, blah from starting and said instead, How lucky am I to have the most wonderful, honest mechanic who will fix this for me and make things new.

Did I wince a little at the unexpected outlay? Sure. We have to be real, but I didn’t go into the blah, blah. I didn’t let it ruin my day.

I chose to remain happy—no matter what. Am I really going to let my car steal that from me? No.

Are you up to The Thirty Day Challenge? If thirty days seems like too much, start smaller and then extend it. Be patient with yourself like I am when you start the old talk. Just stop. Start over. You can always make a new choice. Then watch how more happiness you have in your daily bank, lightening your mood.

 

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It’s been over a month since I’ve written about happiness you might have noticed. The holidays brought a bad cold that lingered. Coupled with a book to finish, life became simple.

Take care of me.

Get healthy.

Write.

Happiness is taking a break.

Sometimes that’s all we can do when we’re feeling depleted or stretched. I didn’t feel lots of happiness as I was sick, let me tell you, but I was honoring where I was and not trying to force myself to be where I couldn’t be.

Things slowed down. And that’s okay. There are times when we need to take a break. I find we’ve usually spent so much of our energy with the holidays, traveling, shopping, and then managing family dynamics that we’re all pretty much spent by the time the new year rolls around.

So, this is a simple post. A footstep back to the road of bliss and joy. It’s a quiet intention.

I hope it touches your heart where you are.

A wise friend recently told me something I’ve heard (even said myself) a thousand times, but this time I really heard it. You know. The light bulb went on big time.

I’ve talked about happiness being a choice. Heck, I’ve talked about trust being a choice.

The truth is everything is a choice.

In talking about a current life lesson I was going through, my friend said I needed to decide. She’d just done a similar thing in her situation. Later I was reading some inspiring reflections, and I came across the same words. It said I need to decide what I wanted and what I didn’t want.

That evening I spent over an hour simply saying, “I decide X,” and “I choose Y.” It was empowering. I highly recommend it.

Happiness is hearing it.

I’ve grown up enough to know blaming others for something I don’t have simply isn’t the truth. I am responsible for my life and my feelings. I also know I’m not the victim of anything. I choose how I want to view my experience, how I live my life.

So, I’m keeping it simple again. Life is a matter of choice. As we crest into the new year, I can’t think of a more appropriate exercise. Choose the life you want. Review all the places you don’t feel like you’re choosing something (this is usually the junky stuff we need to let go of). I’ve made an inventory of my life, and I feel ready and able to take the next step into manifesting more of the life I truly want, the life I deserve.

Decide for yourself and let the support come in. Boldly move forward in the direction of your dreams. Claim your prize. Life is yours. It always has been and always will be. The more I change mine based on my choices, the more I realize how truly powerful we are. How absolutely limitless our possibilities.

My oldest friend from high school and college says she simply can’t believe how much I have changed since I was that fourteen-year-old girl she first met.

Anything is possible.

Choose possible.

I am.

 

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There have been times in my life when I felt stuck or disillusioned. One of the best antidotes I’ve found to this problem is to change things up. Do things differently.

This past US holiday of Thanksgiving, I journeyed to Paris. I’ve never been away from my family of origin for the holidays, but my siblings decided to make Christmas our main gathering time this year. Instead of staying home and doing something less than inspired, I asked myself what would be the most fun thing I could do for the holiday. The answer was clear. Go to Paris.

I love Paris. There’s a magic there, a beauty both grandiose and simple if you pay attention. Of course, the food boggles this chef’s mind, and I savored many of their finest delicacies.

But there was a reckoning as well, one I had planted the seeds some time past. A number of years ago, I was headed to Paris and working on my first novel, Nora Roberts Land. I was in the process of trying to be published, so I brought the manuscript to a magical location once frequented by great authors like Ernest Hemingway and F. Scott Fitzgerald: Brasserie Lipp. With reverence, I rested my manuscript on the table, and at times during a break in courses, I would read from the novel to my companion. And dreamed about being published. I noticed an empty table in a prime location in the restaurant, and my heart told me it was Hemingway’s table.

When I asked the maître d about the table, he confirmed my feeling. I told him about my novel and asked if we could sit at that table for dessert. He said it was reserved for special guests only, but that when I got published, I could sit at Hemingway’s table for a drink.

On this trip, a cool Friday night, I dressed to the nines and headed out with my companion to Brasserie Lipp carrying my newest novel. I’ve published thirteen titles including NORA ROBERTS LAND, and it wasn’t hard to see how far I’d come as a writer since I’d crossed the hallowed threshold of this special place a while back.

When I asked to see the maitre d, he was kind to me. Of course, he didn’t remember our conversation, but he immediately showed us to Hemingway’s table after hearing my story and seeing the published book in my hands. We had champagne and toasted how far I’ve come. I smiled from ear-to-ear. I cried too, thinking about all of the challenges I had surmounted to reach this beautiful moment. And I was in awe too because I could feel Hemingway’s spirit shining down on another writer who’s picked up the magical mantle of words. Even better, when we asked about having dinner, the maître d said we didn’t have to move anywhere. We could eat at Hemingway’s table. Talk about abundance.

Happiness is doing things differently. Big time.

Doing things differently has led me to nearly every wonderful change in my life. This trip was no exception. And it confirmed the other thing I have learned, which was hard to overcome as a young woman: Ask for what you want. Always.

You might just be surprised by how easily you get it.

There’s been a slew of good news surrounding me lately. My one sister landed a major piece of her dream this week. A best friend has decided to get married. Joy abounds.

Happiness is celebrating other people’s joy.

I’ve had my own great news lately, and the one thing that surprised me is that not everyone can fully celebrate my joy sometimes. They feel sad or conflicted about it. It’s been interesting to witness. Of course, I’ve been there too. Someone had something happen to them that I wanted to have happen to me. I was happy for them, but there was the whole “me” piece that prevented a total celebration.

What’s up with that anyway? Are we so focused on ourselves that we can’t get out of our own way to fully support a close one’s new joy?

I’m happy to see how much of a shift I’ve experienced because I don’t feel any of that “me” stuff with these two people. I only feel joy. Yeah. I know and trust good things are coming my way, so I don’t have to feel any lack in this situation.

What about you? When someone shares exciting news with you, are you able to celebrate fully with them? Or is there some part of you holding back because you’re feeling bad about your own space?

We need to be real about how we feel. I’m not saying we deny it. What I am saying is that when we feel this lack we need to ask ourselves why and delve into it so we can clear it from our lives.

Happiness flourishes so much easier that way.

 

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What do we do when we find ourselves and our lives mirroring the season of fall by dying back so new life can emerge this spring? My circle and I seem to be in this cycle right now, and at times, while the knowledge of growth is exciting, the process doesn’t always feel that happy.

With this process facing me and mine, I decided to make another choice. To do as much as I could to surround myself with the things that make me happy as it unfolds. Be present with it, yes, but not wallow in it.

An interesting analogy popped into my mind as I was thinking about it all. I am a writer, you know. We often decorate our homes around this time of year with things that have or were dying away in nature. The pine combs and fall leaves that fall from the trees going dormant become artful centerpieces for our holiday tables. The holly tree outside my house provides beautiful branches for a festive wreath.

Happiness is Repackaging.

Do we look at the gorgeous fall leaves and get all depressed, thinking about that color being a symbol of their impending death? No. We stand in wonder at their glory.

We too are glorious during these cycles. It’s just sometimes harder for us to see because…well, the dying back, the changing of our inner selves, hurts sometimes. We have to fall off the tree.

But we can forge a new path with it all and do our best to be present with the changes and feelings while also repackaging how we think about the whole process.

I won’t kid a kidder. There are times in our lives when we’re not dancing for joy, when happiness feels elusive, when we’re flat out hurting. It’s part of being human.

Yet there are things we can do for ourselves to try and lift us back up, people we can be around who support us.

Repackage these moments. I expect you will find pockets of happiness. Even better, I hope you will break through to greater happiness soon—like I plan to do.

 

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