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After I revealed to all of you that I’d suffered from PTSD like Jake in The Promise of Rainbows, I was contacted for an interview to talk about my experience. This was a little scary because…it’s a vulnerable topic for me. But it’s also about me talking about me. Still a little hard for me. The other part knows it’s important to share me being me with all of you, who I am and what I’ve gone through. I also hope it somehow encourages you to share the vulnerable parts of you and know they’re okay.

So here’s another one of mine.

I’ve lost track of the number of you who have written me to say how you’ve felt healed in some way after reading one of my books. Some of you have said you suffer from chronic pain even and bring my books to bed with you when you’re having a tough time because they make you feel better. A rarer few have said you hadn’t been able to read a book due to vision problems or “blocks” from whatever was going on in your life, but you picked up mine and read it and it changed something in you.

The reason many of you have felt this is simple: I’m a healer.

It’s one of those gifts I was given—like someone knowing how to instinctively play the piano.

You’re probably wondering what I’m talking about, so let me go a little deeper here. A lot of people say I’m not a typical “romance” writer and that my stories aren’t the norm. They’re right. I write about healing messages and people being healed because they represent all of us somehow. You might not connect with every journey of one of the characters, but as you’re reading, you’re learning about you too. So am I. The healing is in the words. The healing is in me. The healing is from love.

Now are you wondering if I’m plumb lost my mind—as Rhett Butler Blaylock would say. Funny how I now have to bring up one of my favorite Disney movies, Tangled. You have no idea how much I resonate with that movie. Like when Rapunzel tells Flynn about her magical hair and asks him not to freak out? 🙂 I’m hoping the same here with you. The thing is, the healing isn’t in her hair. That’s why she can heal Flynn at the end of the movie after her hair has been cut off. It’s not in her tears. It’s in her.

Okay, now you’re really thinking this is weird. That’s okay, I’ve had my moments too. But stay with me…

For a long time, I’ve had moments of awakening to all of this. Illness has been a powerful catalyst in my life because when you’re sick, you really want to be healed. You’re also so sick that you don’t have the energy to resist like you would normally—and that’s when miracles happened. They happened to me.

I’ve always known things. I used to call them hunches or say I had a good gut. But then I got sick and started to dream about things that came true. Even more freaky, I could sense things when I was awake—and not sick.

And so it all continued…

When I worked as a hospice volunteer, I was the person the nurses asked to sit with an agitated patient because my presence soothed them. I sat beside people who were in their final hours alone. I was told I had a gift.

Honestly, I was just trying to be a “normal” girl with a nine-to-five job who just wanted to help others, but the Universe or fate or whatever you want to call it had bigger plans.

Some people call it an awakening, but mine continued to happen. Mostly, it happened with family first—a safe space. On one Thanksgiving nearly five years ago, my sister was experiencing chronic back pain and suddenly I could feel it in my body. I somehow knew the root cause of it and how to shift it. I thought it was a one-time thing after we both stopped freaking out, but then another sister got sick a couple of days later, and I was able to do it again. Of course, this blew all my notions of reality. I can’t begin to describe how much.

I was connected to the divine or whatever you want to call it in a way I’d yet to experience in this life, and it was the most beautiful space I’d ever experienced. Kind of like what people describe when they die and come back. Except I wasn’t dying. I was connecting to something bigger—whatever you want to call it—and it was helping people.

It pretty much changed everything.

I couldn’t hide my gifts anymore or what was happening to me. My gifts were supposed to be shared. And so, for a time, I shared them one-on-one with people connected to my friends and family.

All of you know about my best friend who died of cancer this past summer. What you don’t know is that I helped her too, but healing isn’t “curing.” And since I’m not really the source of the healing anyway, it’s not something I can control. My friend passing away really taught me that, and it hurt, losing her. I wasn’t able to “cure” her, but I helped her with my gifts, and in the end, that was all I was asked to do.

So…if you’re still reading this, let me say thank you. If you’re still not sure what it all means, that’s okay. Sometimes I don’t know where it’s all going. But I do know this: I’m supposed to be me and that means sharing all of me with you.

From Day 1 when I launched myself as an author nearly three years ago, I’ve been writing about happiness on and off. That blog was me being me beyond the books. That was me sharing what I was learning about living a life filled with love and joy. When I’m blocked being happy, it’s something unhealed in me. And that’s also what I’ve written about.

Now it’s time for the blog, Facebook, and the books to all merge. And so I’m revealing this other facet of me publicly because I’m more than just a writer. Everything that makes me up deserves to be seen and shared—just like everything in you deserves it too. We all need to stop hiding beautiful parts of ourselves out of fear of disapproval.

One of my greatest joys is to inspire you from my experience but also to show I’m just as human as you are. I have my story, and you have yours. We’re all special and sacred. We all matter. And there’s no shame in being us.

Some of you may be wondering if I can be your healer, and I can honestly tell you I’m not doing the one-on-one anymore. I’m not supposed to. A dear friend said a while back it was time to reach more people, and he was right. The healing in my books reaches the right people and does what it’s supposed to. I only write them. I let the Divine do the rest.

Are they still just books? Yes. I’m not espousing more here. Some of you feel more connected to them than others. Some of you are affected more than others. Some of don’t feel a thing. Whatever you feel is whatever you feel.

At the end of the day, I just wanted you to know what a lot of you were sensing. It doesn’t change who I am. I’m still me. It just gives it a frame, like telling you there are hazelnuts in the particular cake you like. Of course, I would use a food reference, right? 🙂

I still believe one-on-one healing is a beautiful gift to give yourself. I’m happy to share a few people who do it professionally that I believe have the gift for those of you interested. I know some of you may want that, which is why I brought it up. Since we’re all a family, I don’t want to leave you hanging. But again, it’s all your choice.

I’m happy I’ve shared this with all of you, but to be honest, there’s still that human part of me that’s a little scared of how you’re going to react. But that’s okay too.

Thanks for listening and being part of this wonderful family, but mostly, thank you for celebrating me being me like I celebrate you being you.

Lots of light always,

Ava

PS: If you have any questions you want to ask me about all this, I’m going to answer them Live on Facebook May 11 at 7 pm EST. Just send your questions into authoravamiles@gmail.com with your name and where you’re from so I can give you a shout out to our larger Dare family. I may not be able to answer every question, but I’ll do my best.

PPS: The list to other professional healers and resources is on my website under Extras.